Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in. Why Your Team Sucks 2. New Orleans Saints. Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Watch Ain`T Them Bodies Saints Online Mic' title='Watch Ain`T Them Bodies Saints Online Mic' />As long as trolls are still trolling, the Rick will never stop rolling. Check your balances of wool and linen. Will you sell them to the merchant from Milan or the one from Venice Oh, also, the church wants you to buy some of their. Watch breaking news videos, viral videos and original video clips on CNN. What happens when you let Black Eyed Children into your home Here is one report from someone that did just thatThe season started off so optimistically for the Saints. Drew Brees got the team fired up with a pep talk about brotherhood and expectations. Your team GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO LOOKS LIKE A GOOD DAY FOR SQUIRREL HUNTIN GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO Your 2. Thats three straight years of 7 9, and four out of the past five years. Jeff Fisher is in AWE of this consistency. If you havent realized it by now, both the Saints and the city of New Orleans are clearly content with a team that can pass for 5. That 2. 00. 9 title That was it. Theyre never winning another title again. Theyre taking their fluke ring and going to the bar. In brighter news, every two point play this team participates in is awfully fun. Ask Jack Del Rio, or the Denver Broncos Your coach Sean Payton. I will never get tired of Junior Galette accusing Payton of moving the teams training camp all the way to West Virginia just so he could bone his girlfriend. Its the perfect Sean Payton rumor. I dont even think he even bothers to call plays anymore. I think he spends all his time on the sideline drawing up guest lists and figuring out ways to blame shit on his d coordinator. Your quarterback Drew Brees, who could be 6. Russell Wilson gets a lot of shit for being a corny brandbot, but Old Man Brees mastered that game before Russ was googling love poems in middle school. Ive said it before and Ill say it again, youre gonna HATE Drew Brees when he becomes an announcer. He will be the blandest, boringest studio guy in history. I can already picture him sitting at the CBS desk being like, The question for this Saints team is WHO IS GONNA STEP UP Garf. You may not realize it, but Brees has settled nicely into the second phase of his career as Really Good Archie Manning. He plays on shitty team after shitty team, and somehow his rep doesnt suffer for it. Everything is everyone elses fault. Meanwhile hes good for at least two casual picks a game. Im onto you, Brees. Youre Archie ing up the joint. I bet Tennessee is already recruiting your headset baby. Whats new that sucks Ohhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhh, people. Let me walk you crawdad humpers through the Adrian Peterson experience. After all, this is the shitbag who helped gift you the 2. NFC title, so its only fair to warn you for whats in store. First, youre gonna see him in a Saints uniform, and youre gonna watch him bust through to the third level and trample some fuckers, and you will absolutely lose your shit. Its a great feeling. Thats the moment you consecrate your agreement with Satan. And then the bill comes due. After all those cool runs, you will see Peterson get hurt, and drop passes, and whiff on critical pass blocks, and silently fume about not getting enough carries andor not being used in the I formation he literally cannot function in any other offense, and whip his kids in the nutsack. Now, I know that Louisiana is the perfect landing spot for someone who believes in the all encompassing power of corporal punishment. But even by those standards, Peterson takes GRAND liberties. Hes probably beaten my kids at some point when I wasnt looking. They likely deserved it. Free Keeping Up The Kardashians Episodes. I havent gotten to the fumbles yet. I will never cease to be baffled by this mans penchant for fumbling. He hands could crush stone. And yet, he fumbles in every. Single. Critical. Moment. I swear to you, I have spent YEARS yelling DONT FUCKING FUMBLE at the TV screen only to watch Adrian Peterson do precisely that. Watch The Blue Max Online Hoyts. And hell fuck you over, too. Youre not the Patriots. Youre not magic. You dont get all the good of the player with none of the bad. Youre getting the full Peterson display. He is man who has zero interest in self improvement, and hes gonna be stuck in a goddamn committee backfield to boot. This will end badly, I promise. Elsewhere on the field, the Saints are still near the top of the league in dead cap money, which means they had to perform the kind of accounting voodoo normally confined to the Louisiana state capital. They practically have to pay players in beads at this point. Heres Ted Ginn, ready to drop 7. Heres Manti Teo, who will finally be able to communicate with the spirit of Lennay Kekua with a visit to a local witch doctor. Heres rookie Marshon Lattimore, yet another token effort to improve what manages to be the worst pass defense in football history every successive year. Nick Fairley is already gone for the year. This defense will never ever be good. Youd have an easier time building a functional school in this state. Darren Sharper went to jail. You guys demanded Malcolm Butler from the Pats in exchange for Brandin Cooks and when they balked, you gave them Cooks anyway. What the fuck is wrong with youDid I mention the Saints play their first home game against the Pats Theyre gonna torch you. What has always sucked No fanbase gets more riled up when you take a shit on their homeland, so lets do that right now. I know you guys are very proud of your bad music and your gravy soup and your shrimp subs, but go to hell. Louisiana is a hole. The only thing keeping that state running is prison slave labor. And New Orleans is just Disney World for drunken idiots. Bourbon Street is Times Square with more shit and vomit, and you dont get to disown it. Watch A Gift Horse Online A Gift Horse Full Movie Online. This years Jazz Fest was headlined by Dave Matthews bringing out Jimmy Buffett. David Duke made his name in New Orleans. Every two bit David Simon that makes his way through New Orleans wants to lecture you about the citys culture and heritage. Meanwhile, your average Saints fan is a trash ass 3. Confederate monument, and never, at any time, speaking below a shout. A bag on the head improves the look of pretty much every Saints fan. SO GO SUCK ON SOME DIRTY RICE, YOU SHITBAGS. Did you know Okay, this billboard is amusing Or at least it was until I read the copy from the company that wants to put it up. In New Orleans we take history seriously. Hey, you know who else takes history seriously OTHER PEOPLE YOU PROVINCIAL ASSHOLES. Saints fans are gonna milk 2. Super Bowl victory, and its gonna be weird. I still say your rivalry with Atlanta is fake anyway. What might not suck With a mildly improved O line, Im excited to watch the Saints lose every game 5. Theyve perfected it. HEAR IT FROM SAINTS FANS Lealand Sean Payton has more 7 9 seasons than Jeff Fisher. Ralph The Saints were so happy the Patriots kept the Falcons from winning the Super Bowl, they sent their best receiver to Belichick for an offensive tackle with the hip of 7. Jude Id rather cheer for yellow fever at this point. John I love watching my team score with less than two minutes remaining in the game and still blow it. Fuck this team. Brett The Saints suck because its a dozen years after Katrina and this goddamn city is still flooding when it merely rains for a couple of hours. Oh but wait, it gets better do you know what I was woken up by at 3am this morning I got a goddamn Amber Alert type alarm going off on my phone to let me know that the turbine powering the citys main pumping stations is fucked because of a fire, so now the city is even MORE susceptible to flooding that it was just a few days ago when people were kayaking to their local bars to get a beer. To add another layer of shit icing on top of this shit cake, the dipshit who heads the city agency responsible for this unfathomable fuckery resigned this week and will be receiving a pension of 1. This on top of the fact that all of us who live here regularly have to boil our water for days because the systems designed to provide us with safe tap water frequently fail. Want to experience life in a Third World Country but dont want to leave the U. S. to do so Come to New Orleans This city is so ass backwards we dont deserve an NFL team, even one that sucks and goes 7 9 each year. Cameron Saints games are decided by whoever wins the coin toss and scores first. A Thrilling Game Where You Can Impact The Course Of Art History. Check your balances of wool and linen. Will you sell them to the merchant from Milan or the one from Venice Oh, also, the church wants you to buy some of their overpriced alum. Do you accept These are the questions that ART Mecenas asks while you try to build your banking empire during the Italian renaissance. Develop your reputation as a banking boss and eliminate other competing families, and also, change the course of art history by choosing what works to commission, all within a turn based strategy game. You play as a member of the Medici family who is starting a bank in Florence. You can check the map to see your standing with other city state governments, and you can purchase items from the market to sell. Each turn, youll be presented with three messages, asking you to sell something, buy something, or commission an art piece. Occasionally, you will get special events that can significantly impact your reputation. You have to balance your relationship with merchants, various governments, and the Catholic Church in order to keep your business afloat. As you play the game, you need to watch your reputation level, which represents your standing in the community, and your soul level, which represents your piousness. If your reputation level depletes to 0, you will be exiled, and if your soul level depletes to 0, you will be excommunicated from the church so failure to maintain high levels of both means game over. This game definitely taught me more about economics and finances than it taught me about art history. In the beginning of my playthrough, I was making poor buying and selling decisions. I found that by checking the market price for items and comparing it to the desired buyingselling price of the merchants, that I could determine what was a good decision or not. But even if you manage to avoid bad buying and selling decisions, this still may impact your reputation. For example, choosing to trade with Milan but not Venice may impact your relationships with those city states. My playthrough was challenging from the get go. By the end of Level 1, it wanted me to have a soul and reputation of 4. This goal was a tad overwhelming for Level 1 of the game, and I had to retry several times in order to progress. I tried to keep up my reputation and soul meters in Level 2, but after I was exiled from Florence by some business rivals, I was unable to recover. When I was exiled, my reputation took a significant hit, and the citizens of Florence continued to hurt my reputation even after that. I replayed Level 2 over and over again, unable to advance despite my best attempts. Despite that, I still enjoyed the game. I liked being able to manage my resources, make money, and also manage my business relationships with other merchants and city states. Turn based games usually dont hold my attention for very long, but I was glued to this game for a few hours. The games were designed to be supplemental material for college level art history courses to teach students about the relationships between local and international economies, and how those economies influenced the arts during this time period. As a recent college graduate, I can definitely say I wish that part of my learning had involved interactive content like ART Mecenas. Triseum also has an open world exploration game called Variant, which seeks to teach students calculus through solving puzzles. You can only play the game if youre a student affiliated with a university that has purchased the game. In August, Triseum will launch a new store where any individual can purchase any of their games. ART Mecenas will be available for both Mac and PCs, and can also be played in a Google Chrome browser. You can check out the companys full list of games here. Update August 2. ART Mecenas along with Variant Limits are now available for direct purchase on Triseums online store.